Listen to God's commands and the Lord will work out the rest. If He has called you to a position, He will establish you. You do not need to force your way in. However, He will not establish you until you are ready. Therefore, let us rely on the Holy Spirit and make sure we are ready. The actions of leaders impact many, so we must make sure that we are already disciplined and reliant on God before we are established.
Jesus erased your past and you became a new creature, so stop dwelling on what was. You cannot change the past, but you do...
Great things are happening and things are going to manifest with or without you, so get involved! Stay focused and obey. Remember to pray...